New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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