Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
