Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Your cock deserves a montage
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
