We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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