Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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