i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
