TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
