I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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