So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
