After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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