So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
