You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
