are you still at the devil's house?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
