you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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