ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
