i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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