I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
