Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
