can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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