worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
