people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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