one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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