i permit you to call me
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
