You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
