I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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