My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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