Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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