left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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