don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
