I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
