About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
