This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
