Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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