He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
