I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
