Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
