We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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