this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
