So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
