Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
