im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
