You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
