I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
