would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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