I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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