If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
