and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
