she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
