We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
