Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
