Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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