I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
