I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
