sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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